Saying Goodbye
by Rachel McN
Summary: When one of the turtles are fatally wounded in battle, his family and friends mourn him. In his room, after 1 month, his computer begins to run its embedded program...
1. Fatal Wound

_I never knew when I would have to leave.  
I never knew why I would have to leave.  
But I did know one thing.  
I just couldn't leave…without saying goodbye._

Someone was rocking him.

Who was it?

They were cradling his head.

He could no longer see anything past grey blurs.

"Donnie, hold on bro. We'll get you out of here, just hold on."

Was it raining?

The sound of metal clashing reached his ears.

It hurt; he just wanted to escape the pain, wanted to sleep.

"Stay awake Donnie, don't you dare leave us"

They couldn't tell him what to do!

Wait. Who were _they_?

"Don. Stay awake, bro. just stay with us 'kay?"

Why?

"Don't leave us Don."

He didn't want to leave. Just sleep…

Someone tapped his forehead. Sharply, but gently. The touch was enough to make him hiss in pain.

Did they know how much that _hurt_?

"Get him out!"

Someone was shouting now.

Who was that?

Who were any of them for that matter?

His heels lightly scraped concrete.

Someone was lifting him.

Where was he going?

Where were they taking him?

"We're gonna' get you home bro. Just hold on, and don't you dare die on me!"

Who said anything about dying? He just wanted sleep.

"Mikey, get back an' help Leo."

"But-"

"Go!"

Something pounded the ground, the noise hurt his head. His head wanted to explode.

Stupid migraines.

"Donnie? Talk to me."

Couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Say somethin'"

NO!

"Don…"

Leave me alone!

"I ain't leaving you Don."

Oh…he hadn't realised he'd spoken.

"I'm gonna' get you home, just hold on."

To what? Hold on to what?

He was being rocked again. No he wasn't; the person holding him was moving.

Everything hurt.

Couldn't they just let him rest?

Air was rushing past, brushing his face.

The cold cooled his wounds, but stung at his cuts.

He felt, rather than heard, the landing.

The impact passed through whoever was holding him, straight into him.

The shockwave jarred his bones.

Wasn't he injured enough? Now they had to go and shake him like a pepper pot?

"Donnie? Oh shell, bro, I'm so sorry."

Good. He was starting to get really irritated.

Well, if they wanted him to stay awake, then that was one way to do it.

_Whoosh_

Something skidded by his arm.

He felt the air current pass over him.

"MIKEY!"

He winced at the noise.

"Can't you stop the damn archers from shooting at us for one minute!"

A faint reply returned – too faint for him to understand.

The person holding him didn't seem too pleased with the answer though.

They were growling.

The sound did nothing to ease his fears.

He was still shaking. He hadn't realized how cold it was until now.

His tremors were getting worse. That couldn't be good.

The person with him seemed to decide the same thing.

They held him closer, tighter.

"Don? Come on, bro. Stay with me Don."

He couldn't feel movement anymore. The background noises had disappeared.

"Don?"

It felt nice to be held. He hoped they wouldn't let him go.

"Donnie?"

It was raining again. A drop landed on his cheek, and his tongue flicked out instinctively towards the moisture.

He was so thirsty.

The rain tasted of salt. That was strange.

"Donnie? Come on bro, just hold on. April will be here with the battleshell soon. You'll be okay."

Battleshell? What a weird name. And how could someone be inside a battling shell?

His eyes flicked, as he searched for some sign of light.

A flash of red caught his eye.

Red meant something. What was it? He so wished he could remember.

He was being rocked again. The rain kept falling.

Green.

Red and green? That meant…that meant…Raph!

Raph was holding him! He was happy with the fact that he had worked it out.

Something was still bothering him.

Rain wasn't salty. At least, he didn't think it was.

Raph pulled him closer. The movement sent a spasm down his spine, and he cried out in agony.

Shaking, he narrowly opened his eyes. Water? In Raph's eyes? Now that just wasn't right.

Why would Raph be crying?

Horror and realization flashed through his mind.

"Donnie, don't leave. Please, don't leave."

He choked of a cry as he began to shake even worse.

The sword.

It must have caught him after all.

He tried to speak, only to launch into a fit of violent coughing.

So much for that approach.

"…I love you…"

Wait.

Had Raph really just said that?

"I love you bro"

Again?

Unable to reply, all he could do was relax into Raph's hold.

"Don't go…please don't go…"

He didn't want to leave, but something was pulling him away.

He wanted to stay. Where were the rest of his family? He wanted to see them.

What was pulling him away?

No, Raph hold me…hold me here…don't let me go…never let me go…


	2. 1 month later

_**1 month later**_

Mikey tiptoed through the room. He had no plans of attracting Raph's attention. Ever since their brother had died in Raph's arms, he'd been more bitter than ever. But he'd also been more careful to act nice towards his remaining family. Strange what a death could do to you.

_I know you're there Mikey_, Raph thought. He didn't feel like talking to Mikey right now though, so he pretended he couldn't hear the comical shuffling. A month or so ago, the act of Mikey trying to tiptoe by him would have made him laugh – or more likely – grab his little brother in a headlock until he pleaded for mercy. Now though, he tried to ignore it. What he wouldn't give to hear Donnie typing away on his keyboard. The sound used to infuriate him, but now…the lair seemed empty without it.

Don and his stupid projects. He should have helped him out more. He shouldn't have made fun of him. His little gizmos had saved their shells on more occasions than Raph could remember. Even thinking about him hurt. He could swear he still heard Don tinkering away in his lab sometimes, or booting up that damn computer of his.

The computer. It was starting up again. Raph covered his ears trying to stop the phantom noises.

Mikey stopped, mid-sneak. Raph was watching the TV – with the sound turned down. Mikey wasn't sure whether that was because Raph wasn't really paying attention to the TV, or whether the speakers had broken.

He could hear Leo in the dojo. He was practicing. Again. It was all he seemed to do lately. Sighing, he crept closer to the dojo entrance. The blue-banded turtle seemed to be performing a difficult kata that Mikey couldn't even remember seeing before. The flow of his older brother's movements held him captivated, until a clawed hand landed on his shoulder, startling him out of his gaze.

Spinning round, he caught his sensei's eye and instantly dropped his gaze. He hadn't done anything wrong, but he felt like a toddler who had been caught disobeying stern instructions.

Splinter looked sadly upon the one that they all thought of as the youngest turtle. He had been trying to hide his feelings, or at least smother them. That was in no way healthy, and Splinter would not risk losing another of his sons. He lowered his paw from his son's shoulder, to his arm, and gently led him towards his room.

Mikey hesitated for a split second, before following his sensei. The door to the old rat's room was slid back, and the two entered. Splinter lowered himself onto the reed mat, and motioning for Michaelangelo to do likewise. Father and son faced each other, neither able to meet the others gaze.

Finally, Mikey broke the silence that was weighing heavily upon the normally boisterous turtle.

"Did you want something sensei?"

Splinter looked up, but the turtle was still unable to meet his gaze.

"Michaelangelo, my son, you know it is unhealthy to block of your emotions and allow them to simmer. You may perceive it as a barrier for now, but your feelings cannot be locked away forever."

Mikey squeezed his eyes shut. He knew the wisdom of his father's words, had heard them preached to Leo and Raph often, but still distrusted himself enough to simply raise the emotional barrier he had placed, rather than break it down.

The two reverted back to silence, except for the few words of encouragement that Splinter laid out, for his son to share his emotions.

_Let it out, it'll do you good…_

Finally Mikey conceded to the wisdom of the little voice in his head.

"He…he shouldn't have…died. He was always the peacemaker, why did it have to be him– I don't mean I'd rather Leo or Raph had– We told him we'd watch his back, I swear I didn't see them coming…"

Now Mikey raised his head, seeming to desperately seek his father's words of wisdom, his acceptance. His words flowed thicker, faster.

"We told him we'd fight, that we'd keep him safe while he…they came out of nowhere, we never knew they would…we thought they'd attack us, not him…we should have…maybe we could have…why did he have to die? He…he just...I loved him and…he was our brother, I just never thought one of them could…the attack was pure luck, they'd never had caught him if…"

Splinter wrapped his arms around his son as the tears began to flow. His own tears started to spill down his fur, and mixed with the orange turtle's as they descended to the ground. The droplets shivered with the grief that had caused them to be shed. Intertwined, they sank into the mat, fleeing the terrible emotions filling the air.


	3. Showtime!

The computer once again ran through its automatic systems check.

Free of viruses?

Affirmative.

Backing storage intact?

Affirmative.

Having ran a few other checks and finding nothing wrong with its systems, the computer decided to once again check on its timer. The timer automatically set itself whenever the computer was left untouched for a while. It had been recording the time that it had been left alone to its own devices.

Once it was alerted to the computer's interest in its work, the timer showed the computer what it had recorded so far. It informed the system that it had been almost exactly a month since the computer had last been used, or indeed, the keyboard or mouse so much as touched.

Interested by this, as it was hardly ever left for more than a week without use - at the most - the computer relayed this information throughout its systems. Most of the programs didn't seem too excited by this news, but one program, installed a while ago by the frequent user, quickly became ecstatic. 'How long?' it sent to the computer's mainframe 'how long to exactly 1 month?'

The answer was swift.

20 seconds.

The embedded program figuratively flicked the dust from its files. It had been waiting a while for this moment. The other programs had all had a chance to shine, but now they lay inactive. Only one program would take the stage today!

15 seconds.

It counted down the seconds. It had been programmed to activate after exactly one month of inactivity. It wouldn't disappoint it's user by jumping the gun too early. Nor would it have the patience to wait even a second afterwards.

10 seconds.

If it had been a peacock, the program would have been preening its feathers until they shone.

9

Gathering everything it would need, the program readied itself.

8

It would be in command of a few choice programs. Just think! It would be leading the other programs!

7

Its programmer would be so proud!

6

Organising the files, the program quickly ensured, as it had done every day since it had been created, that everything would run as the user had requested.

5

Its time to shine was almost here!

4

The computer graciously allowed the program to take center stage. It almost started too early in its eagerness, but contained itself just in time.

3

Come on!

2

Almost!

1

Showtime!

0

In Donatello's room, the computer beeped, as the program began to run…


	4. Just WHO is doing that?

Raph sniffed. Something smelled.

Ah yes, Leo. Fresh from the dojo. Sweat a la perfume.

Disgusting.

Mikey and Splinter were still in sensei's room. He was sure he could hear crying in there. He didn't go and investigate.

Leo passed him without a word. Raph grunted a hello, but was used to no response – that didn't mean it didn't irritate him – he just couldn't be bothered getting in a fight right now. Leo would have just kicked his shell anyway. Leo would have relished the practice with a living opponent, but Raph couldn't help but view his brothers as fragile now. He felt like if he just got too close, they might disappear – just like Donnie had…

Stuff this, he was going out. He needed fresh air, and time alone. He hated passing Dons room, but the lift entrance was right next to it.

Something caught his eye, and he froze, hand poised in mid-air, ready to call down the elevator.

That…was…impossible.

Surely...that…was…impossible.

The light reflecting of the screen disagreed. No one had entered Dons room since…no one had entered Dons room in a month. The computer had been left on - to switch it of just felt too much like agreeing that Don was truly gone. Raph had to remind himself.

_No one has been inside there…no one has been near the computer…no one has clicked anything…_

_So why are all those computer windows opening and closing?_

Now that…was spooky…

What was it that those horror movies Mikey used to watch said?

Computers were alive!

Uh-huh…_sure_ I believe that…but if the computer ain't doing that…who clicked it?

* * *

**

* * *

Mikey left his fathers room, sniffing from the last of his tears. Splinter had decided to meditate, and try to clear his mind. He could hear the water running. Leo was in the shower. Splinter was in his room. And Raph…was standing frozen at the elevator doors, with his jaw wide open, looking dumbstruck.

Oookay.

"Raph?"

Raph clenched his mouth shut at the sound of his name, but couldn't tear his gaze away from the glowing monitor screen.

"Yeah…"

Curious, Mikey trotted up next to him, and followed Raph's gaze.

"Who…why…who's doing that?"

"You tell me" replied Raph, mesmerized by the rapidly opening windows of the computer screen.

* * *

**

* * *

Leo left the showers after drying himself of. He'd exhausted himself again. Splinter had tried to warn him about pushing himself too hard, but the only thing he could find solace in was his training. He needed something to focus on. Something that didn't involve that night…

Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, Leo failed to see his two frozen brothers until he was halfway across the room.

Halting, he watched them, wondering what they were standing there staring into…Dons room?

They had the 'deer-in-the-headlights' look about them. Hesitantly, not wanting to go anywhere near to Dons room, but unable to shrug of the feeling that he would be missing something extremely important if he didn't, Leo glided over to the two startled turtles.

"Raph?" Leo asked quietly, "Mikey?"

Both turtles jumped at the sound of their names, but neither turned to face him.

Leo was beginning to get worried. Was there a medical condition for this? When you couldn't stop staring into your dead brother's room?

Sensing that Leo wasn't understanding the reason for their inactivity, Mikey tapped him on the shoulder and pointed.

As Leo turned to look at what had caught their attention so, Raph asked the question that all of them seemed unable to answer.

"Who the heck is doing that!"

* * *

**

* * *

Splinter sighed. He was unable to clear his mind. Whenever he tried, something kept blocking him, as if telling him that meditation wasn't what he needed right now. He felt the exact opposite, but as long as he was being blocked by the…presence? feeling?...he was unable to clear his mind.

Slowly getting to his feet, he left his room. Looking about for his three sons, he felt immensely curious when he found them all standing together. Normally they hardly got to within a few feet of each other now.

He felt drawn, not to them, but to whatever it was that had caught all of their attentions. Not wishing to startle the three turtles, he approached, making just enough noise to alert them to his presence. Neither of them turned.

* * *

**

* * *

"You think it's…a ghost?"

"Right. Like a ghost is going to come here, just so it can check if it has any last emails, or how its favourite pop-star is doing in the ratings!"

"No need for sarcasm…what? You think the computer just got bored and decided to look up stuff by itself? Play its favourite music to keep it amused? I'm telling you – computers **can be** alive!"

"Okay, forgot **who** is doing it. Just **what** is it doing?"

All three turtles lapsed into silence.

"Perhaps it is a – what do you call it? A program that runs by itself?"

Splinter was sure Donatello had once told him about programs like that, they activated when the conditions needed occurred.

"An…embedded program? That's what you call it isn't it?"

The four watched as the computer windows continued to flash by.

The computer stopped. One window remained on top of the others, full-screen and easily viewable, even from their position outside the door.

Email Inbox

**6 new emails**

**Program running complete**

They stared dumbstruck at the screen, unable to move.

Automatically opening instructions…click on link to open mail…mail listings…

**Leonardo**

**Raphael**

**Michaelangelo**

**Splinter**

**April**

**Casey**

Sender:

Donatello

The four froze.

"So" Mikey ventured, "Who's going first?"


	5. Drawing the Short Straw

No one had moved or spoken since Mikey's question.

The computer continued to whir, watching the four outside of the room, as much as they were watching it.

Eventually someone broke the silence.

"We can't just stand here"

"Do _you_ fancy going in there?"

"…not…exactly…Leo?"

"What? You want me to go in there?"

"Well you are the 'fearless leader'"

"…and?"

Splinter stepped between his three sons.

"We go in together – as a family"

His tone insinuated no argument, but each turtle felt the pit of his stomach twist at the phrase '_a family_'.

* * *

**

* * *

Leo gulped, and felt his heart skip a beat. As the one who drew the short straw – quite literally, Splinter wanted the decision to be as fair as possible – he would be the first one to 'follow the instructions' as it were.

Splinter had entered the room first, breaking the invisible barrier that seemed to hold back the turtles from crossing the bedroom threshold.

Now Leo stood frozen, staring at the glowing monitor screen.

He turned to ask if he could wait a little longer – he just didn't feel up to this right now – only to discover that he was alone in the room. He'd forgotten that they had left in order to give him privacy whilst reading his email.

_From Donatello_

Computers gave him the creeps. How his brother could leave electronic messages to them all, that weren't delivered until a month after his death…it just freaked him out.

How long had he been alone in his brother's room? A good ten, fifteen minutes at least now. The rest of his family would be waiting on him.

Taking a deep breath, he let his hand hover over the computer mouse. His eyes swept the room, and he blinked away the tears, trying to ignore his growing fears.

It's just a room. It's just a room.

Steeling himself, Leo returned his gaze to the screen. Resolved, he took a firm grip of the mouse. As the computer recognized the moving mouse, the screen brightened slightly, welcoming a user. Leo let the icon shiver over the link that was his name. Tightening his hold, he breathed out hard – and clicked the link.

* * *

**

* * *

Leo

I know that I may not say this often enough – but I love you. All of you.

If you are reading this, then I guess that I have to assume I'm gone – in one way or another. Just know that I would never abandon my family and friends. If I died then I know you will be blaming yourself. Don't.

You can't change the past Leo.

You can only influence the future for so far.

You can't alter destiny.

You can't change fate.

In the grand scheme of things, each individual means little. All we can hope is that in our time here, we made some small difference – some impact on those around us; those we met, those we helped, our friends, our family.

I hope that I made some small impact – the start of a ripple perhaps, in a few individuals.

The only things that we leave behind that truly mean anything are our friends and family. The only thing that matters once we leave, is if we are remembered in the hearts of those we loved.

The rich mans fancy memorial means nothing to him, if he has no family to think of him.

Don't let me die Leo. No one can truly die if they are remembered. Memories are the only way we have to prove that we were really here.

Always remember that I love you Leo.

I hope these messages don't bring pain; but I had to know that I would have a chance to say how proud I am that I was your brother.

I had to have a chance to tell you how much I love you.

You see – I just couldn't leave – without saying goodbye.

I love you Leo.

Sender: Donatello

* * *

**

* * *

Leo read the printed words, drinking in each word. As he had read, he had sank into Donatello's computer chair. This is where he sat now, rereading the letter for the third time. At the end of the message was "P.S." and a set of directions with the instructions that he, and he alone, was to follow them.

When he had once again finished reading, he pressed his finger to the mouse, ready to scroll back to the beginning again. An option at the bottom of the screen stopped him, and he instead moved the mouse over the button.

He clicked.

A few minutes later, the printer bleeped in its singsong voice, alerting him to its finish, and congratulating itself on a job well done.

Leonardo gathered together the printed sheets of paper, placing the sheet with the 'P.S.' directions on top, as he left the room.

"Leo?"

He paused, and raised his head, catching his family's worried glances. He must have been in there a while – longer than he'd thought. They were waiting for him to say something. He didn't know what to say.

They were staring at him. Too late, he realized that he hadn't dried his tears. He must have cried a river when he was in there.

He doubted anyone else would come out better of.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

His throat felt too dry.

He cleared his throat slightly, and tried again.

"I…I read it…there's somewhere…I have to go, excuse me." Leo fled from the room before his tears once again took hold. He heard the lair entrance shut behind him, and stumbled in the sewer water. Gripping the wall as he fell against it, he slid down, and drew his legs up close to him. Making sure that the sheets holding his brother's message remained dry, Leo hugged his legs, feeling himself begin to rock. He stiffened his muscles as the tears flowed freely, attempting to block himself of from the pain and loss.

It didn't work.

The pain found a crack in his defences, and struck out, grabbing onto him and refusing to let him go.

Above his head, a car passed along the street, its headlights reflecting into the sewer below, via the dripping sewer grate above him.

The light picked out the huddled turtle, and illuminated the sheets in his hands.

_I love you Leo…_


	6. Tick Tock

His eyes were drawn once more, to the clock.

The sound was beginning to infuriate him.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

'_Smash Goes The Clock_' he thought. Well it would soon, unless it shut up.

Twirling his sai, he wondered if he would be able to strike the clock right through its metal heart.

He could claim it was target practice.

Sneaking a glance over to his sensei to check he wasn't watching, Raph observed the rat; hands clasped together, head bowed, ears drawn back. Classic mourning mode – except for the ears – humans couldn't draw back their ears.

What had he been about to do?

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Ah yes.

TickTock, smash the clock

Tick, throw a brick

Tock throw a rock

Wait…**what**! Yep, he was going insane having nothing better to do than watch a stupid clock. The seconds hand was giving him a headache as he watched it slide round, and round, and round…

ENOUGH!

He drew his arm back, preparing to throw the sai.

"Leo?"

Raph spun, seeing Splinters ears flick forward at the sound of Mikey's voice.

Leo was standing just outside the doorway of Don's room, a sheaf of paper in his hands. He seemed as startled by Mikey as Raph was – but then – Mikey had been the only one staring at the room for the past half an hour.

Stupid clock. Raph had ended up counting every second of those thirty minutes.

Leo was just standing there; he seemed to be struggling to form any sort of meaningful thought.

"I…"

Raph stared at Leo. He knew it was rude – but when had he ever cared about manners? Leo's cheeks were glistening, and he seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"…I have to go, excuse me."

Leo fled for the lair entrance as if a pack of wild dogs were on his heels. Raph saw the tears begin to fall as the door closed behind his brother.

'power to you, bro' he thought.

Tick Tock

Enough is enough!

He twisted around, intent on destroying the clock once and for all.

And ended up nose to nose with Mikey.

"Jesus! What the heck is your problem!"

Raph jerked back as Mikey continued to watch him. Shell, he was creepy.

"Stop _staring_ at me!"

Silence. Then; "You're next". Raph felt the blood drain from his face.

When Leo was in the room, Mikey had decided they should roll a dice to decide who went next. Highest number won – or lost – depending on how you look at it.

Raph viewed it as if he had lost.

He took a few deep breaths, steeling himself. Mikey was still staring at him. Splinter had returned to his previous, head bowed, position.

'_Okay, I can do this, I can do this, I can…'_

"Get out of my face Mikey!"

Mikey just cocked his head to the side. Instead of appearing more cute and alluring, it just seemed to add to his creepy factor. After a few more seconds, Mikey moved, and Raph rose to his feet. The room seemed a million miles away – but if that was so, then how had Mikey managed to get there so fast? Mikey was sitting just a few feet away from the door – watching him.

What was _wrong_ with him?

Come on now, breathe. In, out, in, out.

Raph found himself in front of the door. He wasn't sure whether he had the nerve to step inside. He'd already done so – but he hadn't been alone then.

Breathe: in, out, in, out.

"You need me to help you?"

"No!" Raph jumped back, just in case Mikey planned to push him inside.

"You're jumpy"

"Give the mutant a star"

'_I can do this, I can do this'_

Deep breaths, one small step at a time.

Raph closed his eyes, focusing on breathing and moving forward.

One step, two steps, three, four…

_Four brothers_

Five steps…

_Family of five_

s-six steps, seven, eight…

_eight was Donnie's favourite number_

Raph couldn't take this. He turned to leave, only to have his eye catch Don's bo staff. They'd taken it home and placed it in his room. No-one had touched it since. It stood there gathering dust. Why had Don been so attached to a stick of wood anyhow? Why not a sharp weapon, like a sword or a sai? He could have used a naginata – it was stick shaped, and it had a blade – you could cause some serious damage to somebody's neck with that blade.

He knew why Don had chosen the bo staff. It meant that he could never accidentally kill with a wrong twist, or too deep a cut, and it meant that he didn't need to cause unnecessary suffering. If someone was attacking Raph, he didn't think twice about those sort of things, (if he was being perfectly honest – he didn't even think about them once) but Don had been different. He had cared. And now he was dead.

Whoever that all-powerful being up there was, he had some cruel sense of humour.

How many times had the Shredder returned when they believed him dead? Too many. And he'd been around since, well, centuries.

Don – caring, sensitive Donatello – had only had one chance of life, and they'd blown it for him. So much for constantly looking out for one another. He hadn't even gotten past the teens age.

On one hand – a thick, cruel, torturing, age-old, race hating, alien life form.

On the other hand – a young, caring, sensitive, aspiring, selfless, devoted, brother, son and friend.

What kind of cruel sick mind chooses to save the first option over and over again, and kill of the second?

Either there was no God – or he had some sense of humour.

What was he doing in here? He needed out. He needed to read his brothers last message to him. He needed to forget his brother, lock up his feelings. He needed to accept his death and move on. He needed…he needed…he needed his brother back…

* * *

**

* * *

Raph

Are you reading this? I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up – you never were too good with emotions – not that I'm blaming you for anything.

You know what they say 'variety is the spice of life' – what's life without its ups and downs? You certainly supplied my life with plenty of those!

I know you say you don't believe in life after death – but no matter what you believe – I'll be watching you all. Just don't tell Mikey that – I wouldn't want him to freak.

You were always there for me when I needed you; looking out for me, listening to my fears and worries…just being there when I needed someone near. Thank you.

Still there? Yes? You're still listening to me when I need you to…

Don't go doing anything stupid now that I'm gone. If Leo tries to stop you doing something, it's because he cares. Look after them for me, Raph. Be the friend I know you are. Open up – sometimes the only way to help yourself is by sharing your burden.

I love you Raph.

I wonder if you'll ever tell me the same…I can tell through your eyes that you care for us all, you just need to learn to express every emotion equally – don't let the anger rule you, I know it's just a front to protect you. But the thing is, you don't need that protective front. All you need is someone to listen – like you did for me.

I'm so proud that I am able to say that I was your brother.

I'll always love you.

No matter what happens next.

Friendships can fade, but memories cannot.

A siblings bond stretches for eternity.

Through thick and thin, the love remains.

From life to death…

Forever. I'll always be watching you Raph. I'll always love you.

I hope you read this. I hope that I have a chance to say goodbye to you. If not, I understand. But I'll keep hoping that some time, you'll have the nerve to – sometimes all that's needed is a gentle nudge.

Goodbye.

I love you Raph.

Sender: Donatello

* * *

**

* * *

The tear droplet wriggled itself free, sliding down the green skin, and joining the growing pool on the wooden desk. It jostled into the queue for the ropeless bungee jump. When its turn came, it jumped gracefully from the surface, twisting in reflective curves as it fell. It hit the ground, and the delicate fragment of water and salt shattered, turning to vapours which curled and faded.

_Donnie. I…I loved you too…I loved you too…_


	7. Beloved Brother

"Sensei?"

Splinter waited a few moments before slowly raising his gaze to meet that of his son's, Michaelangelo.

"Yes, my son" came the whispered reply. Splinters throat was hoarse from the silent tears that he had shed.

"How…how do you want to decide…"

Splinter debated what his son could be about to ask him, and the answer he would give. Coming to a conclusion was amazingly simple.

"We do not"

The old, tired rat smiled softly at his son, as he struggled to decipher the meaning of the words.

"…uh…okay…so…say what?"

Splinter curled his tail around his feet, watching the dust that rose from the faint breeze the movement created. He returned his gaze to his son's face, and spoke quietly. "I shall go last. You, of course, shall read your brothers last messages to us all before me"

Mikey seemed to struggle with himself, before blurting out, "but…that's not fair! I mean…why should you go last? I just…"

His sensei's ears flicked towards him, and Mikey gulped as he realized that Splinter had just uncovered the reason for the turtle's insistence of 'choosing fairly' who went next.

"You are afraid"

It was a statement, not a question. Mikey hung his head in shame. He had seen his sensei pick up the straws, and kept his eye trained on the short straw, deliberately not picking it, and so, not having to go first. He had trained himself how to roll a dice to land on the number he wanted almost all the time – it was how he won most of the board games they played – and it was also why he had insisted on rolling dice, to encourage Raph to go next, because Raph was all for letting Mikey enter Don's room before himself.

Splinter observed the ashamed turtle, quietly wondering what it was he was actually ashamed _of_. He was afraid, yes. But then, they all were.

"Michaelangelo"

Mikey hesitantly caught his sensei's eye, before losing his nerve, and quickly averting his gaze. "I…I just don't want…I don't think I can…I-I just _can't_ sensei"

Splinter opened his mouth to speak, cutting himself of as he heard the squeak of a door. Donatello's door.

Raphael stood hidden in the shadows of the room, seeming desperate to leave the darkness, but equally unwilling to step into the light. Like Leonardo, he too held printed sheets of paper in his hands.

Mikey sat frozen, realizing that this meant – if sensei got his way – that he would be next.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh GOD no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…_

Splinter slowly rose from his seat on the chair, and began to make his way over to Raphael, who shrank back into the shadows at the approach of his sensei. _Why couldn't Mikey have gone before me_, Raph hissed to himself, _now I have to find a way out of here without letting him see that I was crying!_ He didn't feel too thrilled about his father finding out that little secret either. They all knew that he had cried when Don had died, but to cry over some words? He wasn't even an avid reader…or any kind of reader. He took a quick glance down at the sheets.

_You just need to learn to express every emotion equally…_

Damn, why did he have to look at **that** sentence?

He desperately tried to avoid Splinter's gaze, eyes beginning to flash around the room as he looked for a quick escape. He was starting to feel like a caged animal. And he didn't need Mikey as an audience, either.

Sensing his son's unease, Splinter stopped a few feet away, sadly watching the shaking turtle. Raphael was trembling, and Splinter's sharp eyes could pick out the glistening wetness patterning the green skin.

Splinter turned and beckoned to Michaelangelo. Neither turtle seemed happy with this motion. Splinter could feel the tension in the room tighten dramatically.

Raphael would not appreciate Michaelangelo seeing his tears, and that would probably not help the younger turtles nerves any, if he found out that his older, tough brother, had been crying.

Michaelangelo however, did not appreciate being encouraged to enter the dreaded room. He could go near it, yes. In it alone? No.

Mikey watched Splinter beckoning him, and saw the shifting shadows that betrayed Raph's presence. He did his best to swallow his fears and doubts, before pushing himself to his feet, and slowly and deliberately, as if he was walking on a tightrope, he approached.

* * *

**

* * *

Splinter held his son, sinking to the floor. Mikey hugged him as if he was only kept on Earth by his father's presence. Splinter was almost certain that some of his fur would not survive the experience, as deprived of oxygen as he was.

He caught Raphael's thankful, relieved gaze before the red-banded turtle fled for the lair door. It seemed the air had granted him winged feet. The door once again rattled to a close.

Splinter didn't wish to distract Michaelangelo from focussing on his suffocating bear hug, but he desperately needed a breath of air. His lungs were beginning to complain, and he didn't have the lung capacity of an amphibian, so he couldn't last through Michaelangelo' hugs like the turtle's brothers could.

He patted the patterned shell faintly, before trying to gently push his green-skinned son of his screaming air passages, hoping the turtle would get the message. _At least he didn't __**tighten**__ his hold_, Splinter thought to himself as the turtle refused to get the message. Air, he needed air, who ever knew how tight a turtle could hug?

Saved by the bell. He gasped frantically for air, able to do so without hurting Michaelangelo's feelings, as the turtle was answering his shell-cell, taking the distraction to move as far away as possible from the dreaded, haunted computer.

Gosh, air never tasted so good. He stayed crouched on the ground as he listened to, what sounded to him, like a one-sided conversation.

"Hello? Yeah, I'm in with sensei. Huh? No, we wouldn't mind you coming down. You got any supplies? Pizza? What do you _mean_ is that alright? Don't you know what a turtle eats! A healthy balanced diet with plenty of goodies and pizza!"

Mikey covered the mouthpiece, and looked over at Splinter who attempted to hide his breathlessness. "It is alright if April and Casey come down right? And...they also have...you know..." Mikey gestured towards the open door through which the computer light glowed.

Splinter nodded his consent, unsure whether he had enough oxygen yet to reply verbally. Mikey turned back to the phone, uncovering the mouthpiece. Splinter tuned out the rest of the conversation as he shakily stood, retrieving his walking stick from the ground. He was getting too old for crushing bear hugs from his youngest.

He retreated to the kitchen to make some tea. He was confident, should he try to encourage Michaelangelo to read his email/letter that he had been left, the turtle would find a way to stall for time, and refuse once their two friends appeared. There was no point in trying to manipulate water. It would slide through your fingers, constantly escaping. It was small wonder that Michelangelo was the quickest in both agility and wit.

Out in the living room partition of the lair, Mikey was continuing his conversation. "Yeah. Uh-huh. We…there's something we need to tell you. Casey's coming down too right? Um…hold on a sec."

Mikey glanced around, ensuring that Splinter was not watching him, before edging over to the open door and peering through into the dark room, faintly lit by the beckoning monitor.

He gulped, took a quick breath, pushed his head into the room, taking careful thought to ensure no other part of his body entered, pulled his head back out, and dashed to the other side of the living room.

All in less than a minute.

"No, Raph isn't in anymore. I don't know where he went. Yeah Leo's out too. You should have seen the way he ran. It was like he saw a ghost. I just hope I don't…well…it would be spooky but…I don't know…"

* * *

**

* * *

He ran his hand over the damp bricks; feeling for the groove he knew was there. A breath tingled on the back of his neck, and he spun, instantly on guard, hands going straight for the hilts of his swords.

There was no sound to be heard other than the trickling of water from the broken piping; no movement to be seen other than a scavenging sewer rat snuffling a few feet away from him.

He forced himself to relax. There was no-one here. His mind was just playing tricks on him. All the same, he felt himself keep his tense state, as he cautiously turned his back. He kept his ears pricked for the slightest sound, all of his nerves straining, his senses standing on end.

His hand found a dip in the brickwork, and he paused in his methodical searching of the wall. Bending down, he slowly slid his hand around the loose brick, and gently pulled it away, revealing the spacious gap in the wall. The hole slid back, disappearing into darkness, and he was unable to catch even the slightest hint of an ending, nor estimate how long the gap went on for. It must have been the site of a small pipe, that, when removed, the workers opted for the easy option of blocking of the small gap, rather than having to laboriously refill it. It was just a hole; while long, it was still relatively small. At most, the sewer rats may find a way to use it as a travelling road. What did it matter?

The turtle paused for a second, terrified of what he may find within. He could feel the paranoia in him beginning to build, and he closed his eyes, freezing in position. The hand that he been planning to use to search the dark hole, hovered in position; trapped in limbo between the body of its owner, and the black abyss it was obediently planning on entering. The hand clenched as the touch came again, and Leonardo had to use all his will power to prevent himself from snatching his hand away, and running from the very spot, until he could run no more.

There was nothing there, nothing to be seen or heard, but he could swear on his very life, that there was something to _feel_. And he was feeling that something. What it was, he couldn't tell you. He just knew it was there.

Like a light breeze brushing his hand. A light breeze that passed him often. He knew the warmth of it, remembered what the touch of the breeze felt like. It was a touch that shouldn't – _couldn't_ – be.

The breeze left his hand, but Leonardo didn't relax. A few seconds later, the 'something that shouldn't be' brushed his cheek, as if in a gentle caress.

Then it was gone.

Leo waited for it to return, but as time passed and nothing more happened, he felt himself begin to relax. There was nothing to be afraid of here. And no matter how he tried to think of it, Leo couldn't help but feel that there was _never_ anything to be afraid of. And he felt himself beginning to miss, and long for, the touch of that gentle breeze.

Decided, he reached the remaining distance into the black darkness of the hole, which no longer seemed so threatening. His hand found the cold grip of metal, and he found himself instinctively running a finger over the cool steel. The steel ended in the thick grip of a handle, which Leonardo used to slide out…

The most magnificent sword he had ever seen.

Inscribed upon the hilt were the words:

_Guiding Brother _

Leonardo handled the sword as if it was the most precious creation in all the world; he tested its lightness and manoeuvrability.

"_Donatello"_ he breathed _"it's…beautiful…thank you"_


	8. You Promised You'd Always Be Here

"No, Raph isn't in anymore. I don't know where he went. Yeah Leo's out too. You should have seen the way he ran. It was like he saw a ghost. I just hope I don't…well…it would be spooky but…I don't know…"

_Uh…is Mikey expecting me to make sense of this?_ April paused in her packing, vainly trying to decipher the meaning of Mikey's ramblings. Ghosts? Her mind flashed to the friend she had so recently lost, and she shook her head, mentally shivering. No, she couldn't think of him; it just made the pain worse to bear.

She returned to her packing of the supplies that she had bought for the small subterranean family. She kept her head angled, balancing the phone on her shoulder as she worked. The loss of a family member was always hard, but when your family was so small…

April let Mikey talk. Mikey was now chatting about god knew what. He needed someone to listen, and April really was trying, but…she really had no idea what he was going on about. She caught something about a haunted room…no wait, a haunted…Mikey was already past that. Oh well, she tried. Letters? They lived in the sewer. What postman would deliver down there?

"Oy, April!"

April pressed the mute button on her phone, so that Mikey couldn't hear her conversation with Casey.

"What!" she snapped irritably.

"Your computer. It's doing funny colours and stuff"

Great. A virus. That was all she needed.

"What sort of _stuff_?"

"How should I know? I ain't some computer geek."

April sighed, standing up and taking a hold of the phone in her hand, before rubbing at her now aching neck, and retuning the phone to her ear.

"...and then Leo just ran out of the lair without another word, and..."

"...the screen's going wonky, and you've got some weird writing on it..."

"...then I had to remind Raph that it was his turn..."

"...are you coming or do you want me to just unplug it?..."

She couldn't handle two conversations at once. How multitalented did they think she was?

"I'm coming!" She snapped at Casey. Then she unmuted her end of the phone call.

Mikey was still talking; he seemed unaware of her preoccupation with Casey.

"so what do you think?" ...she had no idea what she could answer. She didn't even know what the question was.

On the other end of the phone, she heard Mikey sigh. "Pick a number"

"uh...six?"

"between 1 and 4"

"...3?"

"...you weren't supposed to choose that number!" Mikey accused.

"what did I just pick?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then Mikey quietly said "me"

* * *

**

* * *

Mikey kept the phone call up for a few more minutes, only cancelling the call when April assured him that she and Casey were definitely coming down. He looked over at the room, unable to avert his gaze any longer. The light from the screen kept flashing, beckoning him closer. He tried to swallow the lump building in his throat. He wouldn't be able to avoid it forever, and he didn't want Splinter to have left by the time he had decided to read it.

He took a step closer, breathing hard. Another step. Another.

* * *

**

* * *

Splinter watched as Michaelangelo cautiously approached his deceased brother's room. He stood just back from the kitchen door, wanting to approach, but hesitant, not wishing to disturb or startle the turtle.

* * *

**

* * *

His fingers walked along the wall; his body hesitantly following as he stepped into the darkness. His eyes danced the room, landing on a piece of broken circuitry. He swallowed back the tears that brimmed at his eyes.

_Deep Breaths_

He found himself letting out a quiet giggle as he realized what the expression on Donnie's face would look like if he could see how terrified they all were of a simple room. He could just imagine Don rolling his eyes at them all as he coaxed them forward.

'_The computer doesn't bite you know'_

He jumped, and flattened himself against the wall. It took a minute or so for him to relax, took a minute or so for him to realize that he was just revisiting an old memory.

His legs betrayed him and he slid down the wall to rest on the floor. He held his head, whimpering through the tears.

His brother had told him he would always be there for them. Had told him that whenever Mikey was scared or upset he'd be there to listen.

'_But you're not here now!'_ Mikey wanted to scream, _'you lied to me! I need you, and you're not here!'_

But he bit his tongue knowing the screaming would only distress Splinter, and instead expressing himself by thudding his fist of the floor.

'_You promised…' _he whined as he clutched himself, trying to hide from the memories of his brother.

The computer screen glowed sympathetically, attempting to calm the turtle enough to tempt it into moving.

Mikey just turned away from the faint light, hearing the processor growl in frustration.

Mikey flinched, then slowly raised his head to look at the soft white letters that made up his name. Slow realization brushed him.

"You promised…" he whispered.

The computer gurgled in agreement.

* * *

**

* * *

Mikey

Hear me out bro. I know this is going to be hard. But I also know that you can't resist a challenge.

Life is there to be lived. So live it. Like I need to tell you that…

Don't forget me, but don't let me dominate your life.

Enjoy the experiences life throws at you. Embrace every challenge as a chance to test and prove yourself.

Life is a mystery. Every time you think you understand it, the meanings dance a little further away. Don't question what happens; accept it and realize something good will eventually come of it.

You're a free spirit Mikey. Sometimes a seemingly mad spirit, but free all the same. Never let someone rule you or tie you down. While you may be a pain in the shell at times, I wouldn't have you any other way.

Stay true to yourself.

I once told you that I was an open ear; that I would listen to whatever you needed to say. That hasn't changed. I'll still listen if you need me to. But Leo and Raph would be more than accepting if you just asked them. And after listening for a few minutes, they'll realize more than they ever knew about you.

The family needs you Mikey. And you need your family. Fight for it, don't let the bonds break.

Family is the one thing that will stay with you forever. No matter what you're going through, they'll stay with you.

And Mikey? Keep the laughter alive. Have fun. Hold on to the joy. Live life to the full, and pull as many pranks as you can along the way!

(Just don't drive somebody's sanity out the window)

Show everyone that you don't have to be afraid of enjoying life.

Laughter is, after all, one of this worlds greatest blessings.

I'm so proud to have been your brother.

Goodbye.

I love you Mikey.

Sender: Donatello

* * *

**

* * *

The processor hummed. The computer chair creaked as the pressure on it shifted.

The turtle dropped to his knees beside the desk as grief consumed him.

The tears flowed freely.

…and a soft sigh could be heard coming from the room

A sigh that belonged to neither the computer nor the grieving turtle…


	9. Whispers of the Past

**A/N:** One word. Life. Other than that…yeah, I have no good excuse for such a wait. Any future multi-chap fics I do, I'm writing out fully beforehand…  
This chapter is owed to everyone who poked and prodded me to get a move on. And thank you all so much for the ideas, you'll be seeing a few pop up. But I think you've waited long enough, so here it is.

* * *

**Recap: (seeing as how it has been _so long_!)**

The turtles were out on patrol when they were ambushed and Donatello was fatally injured. He died and his family slipped into grief. After 1 month, his computer ran a program that sent 6 emails - one for each of his family and friends. The turtles take it in turns to read the message from their deceased brother, and leave to find a gift he has hidden for them as a final goodbye. So far Leo, Raph and Mikey have read the letter, Leo has found his gift and Raph has left the lair to find his. April and Casey are coming to the lair to visit.

I think that about sums it up for now :)

* * *

"My son…"  
Splinter spoke quietly to the air around him, head bowed low over his cup of tea, the steam from the hot liquid dancing through his whiskers.  
"…my dear son…"  
His words barely carried to the kitchen door.  
But the room could hear.

The old rat blinked at the shimmering liquid surface, disturbed by a solitary tear. The fridge whined in sympathy as more tears followed; the tranquil surface of the tea destroyed, churning, its calm surface disrupted as easily as the fragile family.

The quiet ticking of a clock joined the symphony; its rhythm remained undisturbed amidst the grief and turmoil it had sensed so recently around the home.

Across the lair, in a dying room lit only by the light of a single computer screen, another watched their tears fall. Joining with those shed by the brothers who had gone before him. A quiet sob caught in his throat, released as a heart-wrenching whimper. The computer screen dulled once more, respecting the turtles need for silent solitude.

Whispers of times gone by paced the lair, stirring memories in the minds of those there; a family, whole and happy. Sparkling curiosity behind soft brown eyes. A comforter, a listener, a friend, son, brother.  
A shiver passes through the turtle.  
A confidant, someone to run to when you were lost, always there, always constant.  
Someone who would listen, not judge; someone who would comfort, not press.  
Someone lost.  
Someone missed.

The fathers eyes slide closed, his mind replaying images of happier times.  
"my son…"  
The turtle stands in the doorway; a whine escapes him as he watches the living room and his memories.

* * *

Cold stone. Trickling water. The sound of light splashing as someone draws closer. Soft light falls from a grate above, landing gently on the form below.  
Raph raised his head; squinting in the suns rays from above.  
"Come on then, bro," he whispered. "You know the only thing I would ever want is you. How on earth do you plan on giving me that?"

The only answer he received was from the trickling water. Ever flowing, regardless of what occurred. Raphael didn't care for the symbolism.  
A soft breeze wound its way through the tunnel, wrapping itself around the turtle's legs.  
Raph closed his eyes, fighting back tears.  
"If that's meant to be you bro, then prove it to me," he hissed through his constricting throat.  
As if in answer, the breeze calmed; and the turtle found himself shivering in its absence.

Wary, Raphael squinted into the depths of the tunnel he had just travelled from. What he was searching for, he wouldn't admit, even to himself. He didn't even know the reason he was here if he was going to be truthful. Just what did he expect to happen anyway? For some sort of heavenly guidance to persuade him all was well? He would have laughed aloud at the idea had he not been so desperate.  
Perhaps Donatello had left him an exact replica of Renet's staff. At this point, it was the only option that had any chance of consoling him.

Resigning himself to the task at hand, he began searching the damp wall; rough fingers caressing the brickwork. By the time he had discovered the loose brick he seeked, he was close to breaking point. Trembling fingers curled around the object as Raph gave a sharp tug. The wall ground down hard onto its weak point, unwilling to give way. As red swamped his vision, Raphael growled low in his throat, grasping tightly and yanking the offending brick towards him. The force of the attack rendered the wall incapable of defense, and it spat the brick outwards in retaliation. The furious turtle cast the brick towards the opposite side of the small tunnel, where it shattered upon impact; the now irreplaceable form scattered into escaping shards. A strange feeling of regret washed over the turtle; but he thrust the thought deep into the recesses of his mind.

A whisper in his ear reminded him of the reason he had trekked out here. Gritting his teeth, Raphael slid his hand backwards into the gap without another thought. Silky fabric stroked his fingertips, reverting into uneven patchwork. The turtle hesitated, momentarily confused, before continuing his fumbling quest. A smooth pebble kissed his finger as he drew out his prize.

Raphael had the mental urge to pinch himself. Surely…surely not? Donatello couldn't have…there's no way…of all the thoughts Don could have left him. A ghost of a smile traces his features as he brings the toy closer for inspection. A wayward thought draws his memory to the letter. More of that mushy emotion stuff he presumes. Although this time, he thinks he can forgive it.  
"Higosha…"  
The name slips of his tongue as that of an old friend. Of course. Trust his brother to find the toy bear of their childhood.

And suddenly he's crumbling, slipping downhill with no end in sight.  
A choked sob escapes him as he sinks to his knees, arms wrapped tightly around himself. He forces himself to still his breathing, blinking rapidly against the tears straining to escape.  
A whisper brushes his hearing, gone before he can really notice it. Soft white on the edge of his vision.  
Eyes wide, his hand moves of its own accord, reaching for the softly floating feather. His hand closes gently around it, the feather resting in his hand, seeming to glow with gently fading warmth.  
Moving as if in a dream, he finds his tears flowing freely as he holds the fragile feather close.  
His brothers gift to him.  
A sign.  
A symbol.  
He was with them.

_A siblings bond stretches for eternity  
Through thick and thin, the love remains.  
From life to death…  
Forever. I'll always be watching you Raph. I'll always love you._

* * *

**A/N:**  
protector = 庇護者(higosha)  
For those that don't understand, or aren't sure, if you find a white feather it is seen as a sign of an angel watching over you (at least where I come from). In this case I've taken the liberty of placing Don in the position where he can throw out an angel feather or two. Or, you know, it could be a loose feather from the breast of a pigeon or collared dove flying above. Whatever you want ;)


	10. Visitors

"_Hey Donnie, get in here!"  
"Raphael, let go of your brother."  
"Didja set the camera right?"  
"Yeah, leave it alone! Don come on, the timers gonna run out."  
"I'm here, keep your shell on."  
"Leo, move, you're taking up the whole screen."  
"Am not!"  
"Are so!"  
"Boys!"  
"SMILE!"_

**FLASH  
**  
The picture slid out of view as Michaelangelo carefully thumbed through the photo album. He ran his fingers gently over the frozen images, wishing he could return to those simpler times when adventure meant a family picnic in the abandoned railway, and danger was reaching too close to the fire.

He crouched, safe and hidden in the alcove he'd been led to. Unnoticed, the paper tucked close in his belt fluttered, caught in an imaginary breeze. The printed words lazily reached out, falling back disappointed when the whisper disappeared, sinking away down the tunnel.

* * *

The rumbling of the entrance door betrayed the presence of the visitors; a following call of "Anybody home!" effectively killing the silence for good.  
Splinter gathered his remaining frayed nerves in anticipation of the coming event.  
"April," he greeted as he approached the pair, "Casey. I'm afraid my sons are out for the moment. They all have…business they need to attend to. Please, make yourself at home."  
"We brought food," April offered.  
"And beer!"  
"Washing up liquid…"  
"Movies!"  
"Batteries…"  
"And lots of other boring stuff. But mainly beer and movies." Casey finished with a grin.

"I see. Well, thank you, we were beginning to run quite low on our supplies. Perhaps you would like to help me sort these items, Casey? April, I believe there is a message waiting for you." Splinter gestured in the direction of Donatello's room, before taking the bags from April's hands.  
"Shall we start in the kitchen?" Splinter ventured, heading in the mentioned direction.  
"Be right there!"  
Casey simply shrugged in response to April's questioning look, "how should I know what he means?"

* * *

_"Ssshhh, you're gonna wake 'em up."  
"You're the stomper."  
"I don't __**stomp**__."_  
"_Boom. Boom. Boom."  
"Mikey! My feet do __**not**__ make that sound!"  
"…Ka-Joom?"  
"Yeah. I cause earthquakes. Just take the picture."_  
"_Aw, look at the 'ickle babies, s'weepin toge'ver"  
__**FLASH  
**__"…wha?"  
"Run!"_

The camera hadn't lasted long after that, once Raph and Leo got their hands on it. Shame, he and Donnie had become masters of stealth to get those pictures. Mikey breathed in deeply, as he flicked back to the start of the album.

_Keep the laughter alive_

"I will bro…" Mikey murmured as he fingered the leaves of paper tucked in his belt. "You bet I will…"

_ Family is the one thing that will stay with you forever_

* * *

April cautiously entered the darkened room, fingers tracing the wooden grooves of damaged worktables.  
A message, Splinter had said.  
A computer fan kicked into high gear, and she moved forward, intrigued by the throbbing light emanating from the screen.  
Her eyes narrowed as she spotted her name amongst those of her friends, three of whose names were faded gray compared to the bright white of her own. Her eyes flicked to the bottom of the screen as she took a moment to process the senders name and date of delivery.  
"You sneaky turtle you…"

* * *

April

When I was young, I used to gaze up at the human city, wondering what it would be like, how they'd act, where they were going. But sensei always warned us against human contact. Warned us to trust only those we were close to – each other.

And then you came. And you didn't care that we were different, that no-one else would have accepted us. You trusted us, and let us place our trust in you without fear of betrayal. You listened and talked; discussed and aided. When we needed help you would be there, even though it generally ended in disaster due to our part.

And your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been granted. I can't put into words how miraculous you're friendship seemed. To have someone I could discuss theories with, work alongside, share my secrets…it meant more to me than you'll ever know.

You were a blessing in our lives, and I can only pray my brothers know the same. I'll miss you April. Look after my family for me. And you never know; maybe life really does exist after death.

Goodbye.

Sender: Donatello

* * *

**A/N:** OhMyGod, another chapter already! O.o Yeah, I had the skeleton of these two, they just needed tidied up. Although I'm regreting adding April and Casey to the letters. April I finally got something, but what would Don say to Casey? I mean, he's more Raph's pal, right? *sigh* At least Splinter shouldn't be so hard.

On the optimistic side, hey I updated! ^^' Eventually...jeez, I'm sorry. I knew when I was moving house I'd end up taking a break, then stuff just kept happening. I promised myself 'I'll write after X', 'I'll write after Y'...Bleh.

Also, new fandoms! Supernatural, Bleach, Chuck. Those are the main ones I'm enjoying right now. And I keep reading instead of writing xD It's all your fault for writing new fics hypothetical people! Gosh darn it, I'll never get anything done with hanging around, waiting, with all those fics just needing to be read.


End file.
